Is that even a thing?

Societal expectations projects that a girl should be married and start bearing children before she attains the age of thirty. In their eyes, God forbid that she should be thirty years plus and unmarried. In some homes, she becomes the prayer point for every morning devotion. She cannot attend an occasion without being compared to her married counterparts by family members. In the office, she is seen as the old fowl that rejected men when she was in her twenties or gossips will say she was a ‘runs girl’ (high class call girl)and now no man wants to marry her.

At family functions, the annoying relations would be taunting her with questions of when she’s getting married. They would keep talking about her cousin’s wedding that took place five years ago just to spite her.

When she goes to church fellowship or embark on prayer and fasting, everyone assumes she is desperate for a husband. (Can she not pray and fast for promotion at work or success in her business?). If she attends Shiloh or climbs the mountain they will say it is the height of her desperation that led her there.

Even when she meets a guy (player kind) and he learns of her age, he will think she will be desperate to marry him. He chops and run. (Forgive my slang).

Ah haa, even the so called friends that got married before her start avoiding her lest she becomes desirable to their husbands or bewitch them during their pregnancy. They hide the fact that they are expecting from her until they put to bed and then just like that she should buy baby gifts just as she paid stupendous for asoebi. The annoying ones are those friends that become marriage experts. (Please hold your advice). It is like on their wedding day a manual on marriage was installed in their brains on how to run your marriage. The moment they get a chance with their single friend, they start giving unsolicited advice.

Then there are those nosy neighbours that think they know all about her. Their eyes and ears are on her like the FBI. They know when she leaves for work and returns. They know how many visitors she receives and the type of cars or leg-edez benz they came with. With all they intel they gather, they deduct the reasons she is single.

When she has a successful job and drives a good car, they expect her to hide those aspects of her so that she doesn’t chase men a way. They say “men are intimidated by successful women”.

When does this end? Is it your single? It is presumptuous of us to give reasons why a lady who is thirty years plus is still single. Every woman’s desire is different and there are a number of reasons why she is still single. She may have no desire for marriage (believe it or not). She may have been scarred by experiences from the past that still hunt her. She may be such a beautiful woman that guys assume she is dating someone. Meanwhile she is single to stupor. (If that expression exists at all). She may have been too picky and over the years there are fewer or no more suitors to pick from. (Awon beans picker LOL).

There is also the single lady that spiritual husband has taken over her life. This category is for those that subscribe to that school of thought.

Lest I forget, there is that one that is satisfied with her single status. After all, there are many married men to fill her calendar for the whole year on a monthly basis.

Anyway, that was how I attended a sisters fellowship a friend invited me to. One fine aunty in our midst was asked to pray. These were her words;

“Oh Lord, crash the plane of singleness, Lord, crash it

Consume me with the fire of wedlock

Aha! Jehovah roast me!

Jam me with the lorry of holy matrimony

Baba mi, baba mi, detonate the bomb of engagement in my life.

Stab me with a man of man of your choice Lord.

Hang my neck with the bone of my bone

Imprison my life with the ribs of my ribs

Shoot me with an AK47 of true love.

Kill me tonight Lord with a husband”

(I was on the floor laughing)

The point is being single at thirty years plus is not a death sentence. While you are single continue to improve on yourself. Take a professional course or improve on your business. Love yourself more. Don’t cave to the pressure to get married. You will worry about being single and forget to prepare for marriage. It’s not how far but how well.

If you know, you know.


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