VALENTINE: TO LOVE OR NOT TO LOVE!

I was tempted to write about how I used to hate valentine’s day because I never get to receive gifts (like flowers, phones, a car, Baecation etc.) and no one ever gets to sing lullabies to me of how much they love me…bla…bla…bla. Then I remembered that that was the old me before I learnt to love myself. Now, I love myself so much that when it is Valentine’s Day, I think of how much love I have to give to those in need of loving. Oh well, as much as I want to strictly abide by giving love to others in need of it, I still secretly yearn for little show of affection on such days (LOL). Maybe I could get a tiny card, get movie tickets, a box of chocolates or a box of doughnuts from the donut factory (delicious by the way). I mean a very little yet thoughtful act. I’m a woman and like many of you putting up charades of ‘’I don’t care if he gets me nothing for valentine’’, I care about the little things. Argue with yourselves.
The 2018 Valentine’s Day fell on the same day that Catholics worldwide began the season of lent. To some, it was the perfect opportunity to give the excuse of fasting and the need to be in church rather than spend it with a loved one. It also fell on the same day of the champions league football match and as expected, some thought that it was the perfect time to disappear. I even heard a joke about a guy who arranged with his friends to kidnap him in front of his wife, so he wouldn’t have to spend money for valentine gifts (LOL).
For most people, Valentine’s day is about partying hard, having sex (as if sex is love), buying expensive gifts for your girlfriend or boyfriend etc. However, there is more to valentine than all of that. I mean it’s like you don’t get to that every other day. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what pleases you but you should also have in mind that doing all that is not really the true test of love. More relationships have broken down on Valentine’s Day. Infidelity is exposed in marriages and relationships, hearts are broken, people are physically injured from altercations from jealous lovers etc. Rather than be bothered about what to give or expect from your partner, how about a moment to reflect on the true situation of your relationship.
Then, there are those group of girls who use Valentine’s Day as a reminder of how nobody loves or cares about them. This is compounded when they see other ladies getting gifts and affection from their loved ones. You hear sob tales and see heart wrenching write ups on social media but in as much as I should feel sorry for them, I don’t. All I can say is that you should learn to love yourself first. If you don’t love yourself, you will never be able to appreciate the little love you get from others. What you don’t realize is that some of these girls are pretending just to make some of you feel bad. I know for a fact that some girls purchase gifts and pay for it to be delivered to them in your presence. Believe it or not but it is the truth. Their so called boyfriends cannot afford these things while some don’t care. Also, if you don’t ’love yourself while you are single, you shouldn’t expect a relationship or marriage to do it for you.
Lastly, why do we always think that valentine should be about letting our partners know how much we love them? Valentine is a time to also show love to our families, friends, neighbors and strangers. The concept of love has been diluted and made to mean a selected number of things. Some families have lost the love that once held them together and at moments like these attempts should be made to kindle it. There are estranged siblings and lost friendships (true friendship) that can be put together with acts of love. There is an unexplained feeling of joy and satisfaction you get by showing love and kindness to a total stranger in need. You should try it sometime. Let us stop being selfish with love. The world needs a piece of our love too. Let us also try to show love to our significant others at every given opportunity no matter how difficult it is to love them. We should also appreciate the efforts others make in showing us love. While I would like to say more on this, I think enough has been said to give you something to think about.
Stay true and committed to love, it is a beautiful thing.

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