I have at one time or the other been referred to as a feminist by those who think they know what feminism means. I, on the other hand have come to understand various meanings of feminism and more are still popping up as society evolves (when will it end?).
Have you ever tried to understand what feminism is or are you among the ones that just throw the word at any woman who stands up in defence of anything affecting women? Feminism is so much more and to tell you the truth it is too much for me to handle.
According to Wikipedia, feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political economic, personal and social equality of sexes. This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those of men. This here is what I thought was the only meaning of feminism.
Today, feminism has been abused so much so that I feel it is the biggest disgrace to my gender. It used to be about women getting the same rights as men, such as the right to vote and equal pay at work. What we have now is a movement full of women who seem to think that their ability to push a baby out of their vagina entitles them to the best of everything. Take a chill pill because I strongly believe that it is hypocritical to expect to be treated special because you are female (you want tighter laws on rape and then there are the pregnant women who more leniency because they are carrying a child) and then you get upset when you are not treated exactly like a man. For instance, why don’t you reject overtures of chivalry? You like the undue advantages of being treated as women yet you cry wolf when treated as a woman (please pick a side and stay there). Some of you so called feminists will strongly disagree with my view but that is fine by me but before you whip me, let me ask you this, have you seen any Law that provides special treatment for men?
Some acclaimed feminists also start a movement to create equal rights for women when it suits their purposes. I remember sometime back on an episode of the Big Brother Africa reality Tv show, a female housemate opened the bathroom door while a male house mate was taking a shower. He was furious and confronted her. She was unapologetic and sassy over her behaviour and he slapped her. This housemate was criticised for hitting a woman. If the reverse was the case, all the angry women would have accused him of harassment. Are you saying that a man deserves no respect for privacy? If a boy slaps another boy a feminist thinks nothing of it because they are men and are more likely to handle it. If the same boy slaps a girl, a feminist will say you are not supposed to hit girls. Today, ladies will smack a guy’s ass in a flirtish manner but when the same is done to them they scream harassment and all forms of sexual abuse. There are so many instances I can give. You want equal rights for both men and women but you say a girl should not be hit. For those of you rolling off the coaster, I am against violence of any kind against anyone, be it man or woman. If you hit a boy or a girl you should be punished for it. While statistics say women are more likely to be victims of violence, reality shows that men are more likely to be victims of every type of violent crime than women apart from rape. All I am saying is, feminism has lost it’s true meaning to become a movement full of hypocrites today.
Then, there are the clueless ones that bring feminism to their homes. You expect your husband or partner to clean and cook as well because you are upholding feminism. You want to measure up to your man because that will set you on the scale of being equal. Believe it or not these ones exist and if I were you, I wouldn’t try to correct them. They are strong headed, adamant and disrespectful to all men. Most in this category have not been able to settle down or have been kicked out of their homes. Others have blatantly refused to settle down (the I-don’t-need-a-man kind of feminist).
Lastly, you sit there giving self-righteous bullshit about rights and discrimination when you have never done anything to any girl/woman in your life. You throw around buzzwords to make any argument seem smarter or more valid. You accept or justify studies that are misleading or utterly false. You accept a particular ideology or action as true feminism (it is well with you). People dislike you not because of your gender, race or sexual orientation etc., but because you are insufferable as an individual. Many of you are victims of this so-called feminists everyday but can do nothing about it because the moral high ground has been stolen by the women who pulled feminism on you.
I know what feminism is and I know it has the potential to do a lot of good. I am only opposed to some bad representation of feminism. I also know that feminists can be genuinely good people except for the ones I mentioned above. I also believe in equality and equity for all gender (especially equal pay, opportunities and responsibilities at work places) but I don’t have to be a feminist. I am not a men’s activist either (LOL). While I frown at rape and agree that tighter laws should be made (Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act 2015 currently exists) and enforced against the offence, I disagree that It should be so solely for the plight of women. I don’t like to be pushed around and I am very vocal about it. I will not support you just because you identify as a feminist and you cannot make me identify as one. I know what I am but feminist is not it.
If you want to be the ideal feminist, you should be true to yourself and those around you. Stop formulating or emulating theoretical ideologies that are misleading and utterly false.